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  • Writer's pictureLeila Lloyd-Evelyn

When uncertainty, fear and shame are keeping you stuck

Updated: Oct 26, 2022

You know something is the right step for you and you still don’t do it.

You know what the right step is but you just can’t take it.

You know it’s the correct step but you’re so acutely aware of the risk, that you stall and stall for months (and maybe even more.)

Maybe you even know it’s the right step, but the concerns of friends and family are ringing in your ear. You just can't push their worries out of your mind (even when you disagree with them.)

You know it’s the right step but you feel like there’s something in the way....

And you’re not entirely sure what that ‘’thing’’ is, just that it feels real and is getting in the way from you doing the very thing you know you want to do.


Being human is a hoot isn’t it?


No, you’re not failing.

No, you’re not broken.

Yes, this is genuinely challenging.

Yes, we all do this.

Round and round trying to think everything through in our head.

Weighing up all the pro's and cons.

But still there is an overriding sense of...

Stuck, you're frozen, you've hit a wall....

So you give up on your ideas or dreams of change...

Leaving the job, the partner, writing the book, starting the business...

Even taking a vacation...

It's all too much.

A tight ball of tension, that's better left untouched.


We are social beings.

We crave to be understood, to fit in, to be validated.

You could almost say we are wired for it, from all the way back to our cave men days.

We feel anxiety when we are not well understood, or met by support.

This is normal, healthy even.


Even when we realise craving validation from others isn’t really serving us, we still can’t stop seeking it entirely.

It’s coded into our dna to seek approval - because belonging to a group was vital in order to

be kept safe back in the day!

Even those who are deemed successful, or independent minded, or rebellious as fuck…still sometimes struggle with these moments in their life.


Some of us, though, absolutely desire more....

More than our habits and deeply engrained patterns of dependency will so often allow.

And we know we will need to ''do the work'', or make some changes to do make it so.


How to deactivate that programming then?

Ok, so…


What if there’s no golden bullet love’s?

What if you simply need some space to hear yourself?

What if there are ways to disconnect from all these external influences…But gradually and over time?

What if the best way is to commit to chipping away at the gunk, the conditioning, that we've introjected and choose to trust in our process as we go.….

So that we can hear, sense, know ourselves without it again.

Here's the thing though, trust doesn't start in the head loves, it starts in the body.

No amount of positive affirmations will make you feel safe to take that risk, if you don't work it through the body in some shape or form.


What if sometimes we have to learn to live with uncertainty, as we take our next step.

Again loves, there is no miracle cue.

Or at least, I believe, it’s more helpful to aim for…

Incremental, slow, steady change.

If miracles come, we’ll catch them in the moment, I promise. They cannot, will not,

be missed.

But otherwise, let’s be prepared to do the work to change, if that’s what’s required.


Because disentangling the knots, the often invisible knots of thoughts, the emotions, those patterns…

Needs a little help, loves,, a little conscious awareness brought to it.

Gentle unwinding of patterns. Emotional patterns, thought loops, the past.


If you’d love to find alignment with your next right step for you…

If you’d love to experience a sense of congruence between your thoughts, feelings and emotions….

If you’d love the opportunity to let go of some of the daily stresses that you hold…

As well as the chronic patterns that get stuck…

And finally, if you are open to some gentle, easeful, gradual change that builds over time…

Then reach out, let’s talk.

Learn more about my weekly classes

Or go ahead, jump in and book a class here.

*But don't forget to email that you've paid, so that I can send you

your Zoom link!

Movement Envisioning Classes

Thursday’s, 7-8.15pm on Zoom.

£20 per person.

£90 for 5 sessions upfront.

Concessions available for low income, NHS, couriers!

DM me for so I can share our zoom link with you.

Join my band of gorgeous, savvy, sensitive, somatic explorers.

Or scroll down this page to learn more about the bespoke one to one work

that I offer.

And whether you do this or not...

Or choose to try or continue working with some other tool, modality, or practitioner....

Life itself is a practice, it’s trial and error, your own experiment.

It’s ok to make mistakes.

The people disapproving of you? They've already made a ton already and will again.

It's ok to be uncertain. In fact, it's healthy and normal.

The people who talk about being fearless and without self doubt are usually....sociopaths or narcissists honestly...

In many ways, I see uncertainty as an express of depths and self awareness. You're not getting anything wrong - just that we've forgotten how to utlise the intelligence of the body to work things through to resolution.

And even if you continue to ride the hamster wheel of life - honestly, look at yourself from a wider perspective and remember just how perfect, lovely, loveable you already are. Nobody's judging you. Or at least, those that matter aren't.

And yes, it's hard, that family and friends often do not say the right words to you when you need them, of course it is...

But they're wracked full of fear about everything, not just you. So they can't really help it loves.

And, truthfully, not everybody is designed to live as bold and as outrageously as you are!

Don't expect family or friends to act any differently than they are capable of.

And if it helps to know your sense of belonging is much more likely to be well met in different spaces (hint hint, like with my people and in my class.)

So not - it’s not a failing to feel stuck or disconnected.

You’re not a failure if you're going around in circles, but also want for more.

We're all fumbling along one way or another.

You're just human. That's it! Here we all are. Come join the party with me!

Whether you stay stuck, or destruck, all's well and you are most definitely welcome here!

Leila x

See you soon fellow human creator!



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